Don’t worry, be sloppy

If you’ve ever heard my rant about bad veggie burgers, you might remember that one complaint is when the patty is so soft it can’t hold up to being eaten in a bun. One bite, and you get the dreaded squish.

We hate it because we expect better. The word “burger” makes us want something with a little more chew — and certainly something that can be eaten as intended.

What if your expectations are a little, well, looser? That’s where a Sloppy Joe comes in. It’s designed to live up to its name (or at least the first half of it, ahem), with the contents really barely able to be contained. Those of you daintier eaters might wonder: Why on earth wouldn’t you just eat it open-faced, with a knife and fork — or even forget the bun, grab a spoon and treat it like a stew?

Table of Contents

• I break for animals: Rhythm

• Recipe: Lentil, Zucchini, and Cherry Tomato Sloppy Joes

• More favorite sloppy-sandwich recipes

My response: Why not? The sandwich has proven its appeal for decades, even though its roots are debated: Maybe a cook in Iowa added tomato sauce to the already-popular loose meat sandwich, which Serious Eats calls “a Sloppy Joe without the slop.” Or maybe a bar owner in Havana put it on the menu after being inspired by the classic ropa vieja.

Besides, the idea of putting way too much to fit on a sandwich and letting it spill out when you eat it isn’t limited to the Sloppy Joe, the icon of the bunch. Even burgers have long been rated based on the number of napkins it takes to eat them. (Remember Padma Lakshmi and her steamy Hardee’s commercial?) The more, the better, because that indicates more juiciness, more flavor, and more, yes, messiness. The classic Southern tomato sandwich is supposed to cause a mixture of tomato juice and mayo (heaven!) to run down the eater’s arm when being consumed.

How many napkins does it take to eat a Sloppy Joe?

How many napkins do you have?

I wanted to share my favorite Sloppy Joe recipe with you — it’s plant-based, naturally, and based on lentils, zucchini and cherry tomatoes! — because the older you get, the more you come to accept the fact that life is anything but neat. You can try to control what you can, creating little pockets of neatness when and where you can manage it. Sometimes, you can lean into the mess and enjoy it, at least for the amount of time it takes to make and eat this sandwich.

And clean up afterward.

I break for animals:
Rhythm

Recipe: Lentil, Zucchini, and Cherry Tomato Sloppy Joes

Makes 6 servings // Storage: Store leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

• 1 yellow onion, chopped

• 4 garlic cloves, chopped

• 1 tablespoon tomato paste

• 1 teaspoon ground ancho chile

• ½ teaspoon fine salt, plus more to taste

• ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

• 2 pints cherry tomatoes, quartered

• 2 small zucchini, cut into ½-inch pieces

• 2 cups cooked brown lentils, drained and rinsed

• 1 teaspoon light or dark brown sugar

• 6 kaiser rolls or sturdy buns, warmed but not toasted

• 12 sour pickle slices

Directions

Pour the olive oil into a large skillet over medium heat. When it shimmers, stir in the onion and garlic and sauté until they soften, about 8 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste, ground chile, salt, and red pepper flakes and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Stir in the cherry tomatoes and zucchini and cook until the tomatoes collapse, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the lentils and brown sugar, increase the heat to bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium-low, cover, and cook until the squash is tender but not mushy and a thick sauce has formed. Taste and add more salt if needed. Let cool slightly.

Divide the bottom buns among six plates. Spoon the warm filling onto the buns, top with the pickles and the top buns, and serve.

Recipe from “Cool Beans” (Ten Speed Press, 2020), copyright Joe Yonan.

More favorite sloppy-sandwich recipes

These are gift links to the recipes at the Post. Note that they require you to register but not subscribe. Gift links are free to access for 2 weeks, so if you want to come back to any of these recipes but don’t subscribe or want to subscribe, I suggest you find a way to save them!

Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Vegan Pambazos (Chorizo, Bean and Potato Sandwiches)

Curried Chickpea Salad Sandwiches